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[gitanes]

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[gitanes]

[The thing is, Mukuro could never bore her. Not really. If she let her, Mukuro would take her slow and deep and gentle, and it would be good, and she'd lose herself in it, let herself drift in feeling cherished. She thinks she could do that. She's thought about that, prodded the idea like a loose tooth. It's a level of sentimentality she's never considered before Mukuro, something she would have sneered at before, something that felt secretly and inherently unsafe.]

[She could do it now — but not like this. Not underneath. It would have to look different. And the idea of it piques something curious and warm, more in her chest than between her legs, but she wants to be under Mukuro right now in a way she can't explain. She likes this. She likes her whole body being covered, she likes watching Mukuro restrain herself, she likes fur all over, making her skin prickle. Vulnerability has never felt good before Mukuro, she would never have bared her throat like this for anyone, but god it's hot like this, she doesn't know why and she can't explain.]

[Doesn't matter. Words don't matter. What matters is that Mukuro's teeth dig gently into her skin, the force of her jaw carefully locked and pressing down no further, and Lila's whole being shakes. Her hips judder out of rhythm, body clenching tight around nothing. She keens, a whine that dips and turns animal in a matter of seconds, looping back into a low, rough, rhythmic noise. Something like a purr, under Mukuro's panting tongue, inside the cage of her teeth, which will open anytime she asks it too.]

[But she doesn't ask. She likes it. She likes when Mukuro holds her down, because Mukuro will never, ever hurt her. It's safe. In a world where almost nothing is safe, this is.]

[Once the spasm of her hips still, she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding and rocks down, trying to catch on Mukuro again. In the end she has to reach down between them, too, take her in hand and guide her back in place; but along the way she gets distracted, fingers running blindly along the length of her, drawing a map in her mind and just savoring. Eyes closed, head back, mouth open and drawing in sharp breath. Her thumb drags across the tip and her breath hitches. The shadows squeeze a little tighter around Mukuro's thighs before loosening, letting go.]

Fuck. You'd let me do that as long as I wanted, wouldn't you?

[It's not even a question. Mukuro would let her just use her and be done, she knows, she knows that, and as good as it feels, as tempting as it might be with someone else — no. At least not now. She sighs, soft and fluttering, and lines them back up, hooks her leg over Mukuro's back, but then she lingers. Feeling where they connect, fingertips dancing light and teasing around the very beginnings of the stretch. She can feel both of their heartbeats between her legs where they connect, very nearly in time.]

'M not worried about you hurting me.

[Her other hand drags absently up and down Mukuro's spine, claws out, digging gently. The other one, when she pulls it back, she taps on her jaws, asking to be let in — to give Mukuro her hand, her sticky fingertips, her everything.]

I want you to go in slow so I can feel — everything. All of you.

[dead_eyed_wolf]

[As soon as Lila touches her like that, she shivers again. Her instinct is to clench her jaw tighter, but - even with Lila squirming and whining like that, sounding so close to prey, her teeth don't move a single centimeter closer. Never. Never, never - her eyes squeeze shut instead, and her breathing goes sharp and uneven for a moment, but she doesn't move. Not even when the restraints loosen and disappear. She can handle it, being bound, but she doesn't need to be, to be safe and good for her.

The question-that-isn't is an acknowledgement. Lila knows that, that Mukuro's hers, after all. That Mukuro belonging to her means everything, means anything - anything Lila wants, Mukuro will accept. If Lila wanted to toy with her, spend ages tracing her new body and learning every inch, she would hold herself still, as long as it took. In the same way she'd accept it if Lila wanted to hurt her. But she doesn't. She doesn't, and that's part of why Mukuro wants so badly not to disappoint. If Lila is choosing to be kind - choosing to treat her almost like an equal - she wants to be worthy of it.

Lila's tough. Stronger than most people Mukuro's ever known. She's a fighter and she knows it, she doesn't need to be protected and treated gently. She'll survive, no matter what. Even with this, she knows what she wants and that she can take it. She's the one setting the pace. But she's also the one who keeps reacting so strongly when Mukuro bites. When she's marked, claimed, pinned. Despite everything she is - or maybe because of it - it feels good for her when Mukuro asserts herself too. No matter how clouded her mind might get - Mukuro will always, always be able to focus when it's for Lila.

So she waits, as Lila figures out what exactly she wants. She waits as Lila realigns them and braces herself, waits as Lila speaks to her, gently scratches along her spine. She only moves when Lila taps along her jaws, and then it's to very, very gently take Lila's wrist in one hand as she takes her fingers into her mouth. She looks back at her, a little hazily, but she's calmer than she expected to be, at this point. Because - this is still - like talking. Learning about each other, bit by bit. Being honest. Even if it can be nervewracking to be vulnerable, it's worth it. Even if the idea of disappointing her is terrifying, it doesn't feel like something she actually needs to worry about. She laps Lila's fingers clean in soft, slow strokes of her tongue, letting them hover on the edge of connection for just a moment longer - and when she does move, it's slowly, slowly, so Lila can feel everything. It's only one she's finished, that she slides her hand up from Lila's wrist to lace their fingers together and gently pin her hand down to the bed, that she manages to completely hilt inside her.]

[gitanes]

[She's panting long before Mukuro starts moving into her. Not that it's likely much of a surprise after the way she reacted to Mukuro's hands in July, but the reaction is still — extreme. The nerves of her fingertips are so sensitive after months of touching nothing but herself, occasionally, and the wide wet flat of Mukuro's tongue cleaning her off says the same thing that all of this does: you could hurt me but I don't care, you have the power and I love your power. The distant thought of that tongue traveling down her body occurs, of course it does, but her chest is heaving by the time Mukuro finishes just from watching the careful cleaning of her fingers, from the heat of her mouth, from something so simple and yet so all-encompassing.]

[And then, finally, she doesn't have to wait anymore.]

[Mukuro is so good for her. Somewhere amidst it all, with her head thrown back and her hair splayed messily across the pillows, she finds it in her to think that. How she only has to say something she wants once, and Mukuro's doing it and doing it perfectly, just because she wants to please. That's what this is. She asked for slow. She's getting it.]

[Actual thoughts are admittedly few and far between. As soon as she feels that first push, she shudders, loses track of her hands (one scrabbling hungrily at Mukuro's back, the other supported and limp by her jaws) as her whole self and all her perception narrows to hyperfocused sensations. Push, but gentle, slow. Her legs falling somehow further apart, craving more, the perfect angle. The growing sense of fullness as the seconds pass, something she's missed so badly that she has absolutely no control over the way her body squeezes gratitude around Mukuro, clutching and inviting and begging, like it would do anything to keep her from leaving now, and it probably would. Her eyes closed, chin tilted to the ceiling, she focuses on the feeling, on the shape, the same but different, and the different is good, the different is — quickening her pulse, actually. Yeah. Fuck.]

Fuck, [she breathes, and keeps saying it, fuck fuck fuck like a mantra in time with her heartbeat, only barely aware she's speaking. Pinned in her body, she feels more like herself, more alive, more real in this moment than she has since her first transformation, so connected and so wanted and so fucking deserving.]

[Mukuro's warm hand takes hers and pins it to the bed above her at the same time as Mukuro finally, finally stops moving. She can feel the way they fit together, the way Mukuro's hips press against the insides of her thighs, and then they shift slightly and the new angle has the base of her, lightly furry and searing warm, rubbing against her clit. She arches, pinned and full and smothered tip to toe, but keening, on the verge of losing control from sheer sensation.]

[She can lose control here. It feels — so safe. She could scream. She might, later. When she opens her eyes to look up at Mukuro, they're foggy with want and heavy with fondness. Every part of her body is tense, ready, except for her expression, which is more full of trust than Mukuro has ever seen. Than anyone has ever seen.]

You—

[She licks her dry lips, sucks in breath, looks for words. In the end, all she manages is what matters most.]

Feel perfect. So good, Muku. You're so good.

[dead_eyed_wolf]

[They could both do so much damage to each other. With her fingers in her mouth like this - Lila could use her claws, Mukuro could use her teeth, and they could both nearly kill each other in an instant. But there's no hesitancy, no fear at all. In the same way Lila bares her throat and mewls for her when she holds it in her teeth but doesn't bite down. In the same way Mukuro bares her heart and everything she is and Lila responds with gentleness and reassurance. They could deeply, irreparably hurt each other, physically and emotionally, but they won't. And that trust is precious.

Lila's noisy. It makes sense. She hasn't been trained otherwise, never taught that she was too much or to expect anything less than everything she wants. Mukuro likes it. Her ears keep adjusting, straining to catch every little sound, each one spurring her on whether it's words or plaintive little cries - she's focused, so focused, and every tiny piece of Lila is something she'll hold close to her heart. She wants to be good for her, she wants to be the best - not just a suitable replacement, good enough for now, no; Lila chose her, Lila deserves more than that.

And that look Lila gives her, even before she speaks up to tell her she's good - it's proof she's doing this right. Her tail wags in slow, lazy sweeps, just before a soft smile flickers across her muzzle. She leans in, nuzzling at her, murmuring low:]

So're you.

[Lila doesn't need to hear it, maybe, she's never been as unsure as Mukuro has been. But even so. It's true. They feel like they fit together so perfectly - Lila accepting all of her so eagerly - the slick heat tight around her - everything about this is so good, and she's so lucky, and Lila deserves to know.

She takes a breath, deep and slow, and then starts to roll her hips. Slow at first, shallow, this is a motion she's not completely practiced with - but the wolf knows, and she eases into a steady rhythm soon enough. Smooth, deep strokes, each forcing a shallow little breath out of her after a moment - and even so her ears are trained on the girl beneath her, listening so intently for any cues she needs to follow.]

[gitanes]

[It registers dizzily that Mukuro is so cute. So cute like this, she thinks, watching the way her tail wags just looking at Lila, just so pleased with what she's done. Lila doesn't need praise, but it feels good from Mukuro because it feels good for Mukuro, and it's being returned because she wants Lila to feel the same. Circular logic, but it works, leaving Lila warm all the way down to her curling toes, leaving her smiling with soft gratitude. Sometimes a gift is about what it means to the giver.]

[Even the first slow movements have her sighing. Mukuro was right before, it's all about the connection, touch and closeness and being so much a part of someone else that she forgets herself. She can't quite forget herself with Mukuro, not being looked at like that, but she can't lose herself to isolation either. She's here, and Mukuro is here, so present and so together and so real.]

[But the wolf learns quick. Surprisingly so — and as the strokes get deeper and breath gets knocked out of both of them in unison, there's a brief flare of self-consciousness when she realizes how closely she's being monitored. It's not a bad thing, not at all, it's just—]

[She understands at the same instant Mukuro happens upon the perfect angle. At the same time as her body stiffens, her breath catches, her claws dig into Mukuro's back while she groans in wordless approval, yes more please fuck there, she looks wide-eyed at Mukuro's face and really sees that intensity, that fervor for doing perfectly for her.]

[It's a level of devotion that borders on worship. Readjusting her leg's grip for better more, that, again, she can't lie and say she's not a fan.]

[dead_eyed_wolf]

[Mukuro can't help shivering a little, even just from listening. Every sound Lila makes is magic, and she wants more. She's never been good, never been worth anything - but she's always tried to make up for it in her devotion. Even if she was never meant to be, she could be useful. She could support the one who was meant to exist. It's part of why she's so pliant, for Lila - but it's different, too, it's so different, and she can't think of anything but this. Nothing from before, no one else, just Lila, Lila, Lila, reverent and adoring. She thinks maybe she loves her. Knows it's stupid, to even consider that, and does it anyway, as she skims one clawed hand down along her ribs and settles at her hip. Leans to nuzzle at her, panting soft against her skin, before opening her mouth to snap her jaws closed where Lila's neck meets her shoulder to hold her. Three points of contact, her hands and her teeth, always gentlegentlegentle despite her strength.

I'm yours, with every careful adjustment, every steady rock of her hips to keep those gorgeous sounds flowing. You're mine, in how her teeth and claws dig ever so slightly into her, keeping her pinned, keeping her close. There's a shuddery little groan, as she feels Lila clutch at her even more tightly, but for the most part she's quiet but for her breathing. All the better, to focus on Lila. She does her best to move as Lila directs, follow her wordless orders - there's a little grind with each thrust, now, trying to keep her angle right and still manage to rub her clit. Even if her own equipment is new, she at least knows what she ought to be doing. She's trying, so hard, but - she's used to being able to focus entirely on what she's doing without distraction. Not that she's ungrateful - this is good, so so so good, being so connected and so intimate - it's just - another part of her form to master. No matter how overwhelming, how hazy she's gotten - she's determined not to disappoint.]

[gitanes]

[She missed this so much. Not sex, specifically, although that too, she's missed that a lot, she likes to feel good, to use someone else's body to help her feel more at home in her own. That isn't really what this is, though — that's not what they're doing. Mukuro makes her feel real anyway, even when she's not solid. She makes Mukuro feel real, too. What this does, this — makes them something bigger than real, pushed and bitten and clawed into some other dimension of mutual understanding. Mukuro was sad and scared, and she was mad, but that isn't why they're doing this, either. They're doing it because—]

Want you, [she whispers, hoarse and only audible to those hypersensitive ears. Because she wants everything. She wants touch, and she wants it to never stop. She wants Mukuro, and she never wants to have to let go. She wants to fuck her in all the ways she can figure out, and when she can't stay anymore, she wants to crawl inside Mukuro's body and make her feel good until she's exhausted. She wants to be able to stay solid long enough to fall asleep with her face in the wolf's fur. She wants to wake up with teeth in her shoulder—]

[—like that.]

Fuck!

[There's no chance of misinterpreting that reaction, for the record. The sound she makes is breathless and sharp, but in no way distressed. More than that, she arches into the bite, her head tipping to one side to give more room. Mouth open, she's panting to match the wolf now, and her body spasms around Mukuro, a fluttering, hungry clutch that says a lot more than Lila could possibly manage right now.]

[She's long stopped moving with thought, following memory and instinct, but now she's discarded memory entirely. Her body is moving with Mukuro's. Instinct is the only thing that matters, instinct and following what feels good.]

[Everything feels good. Every single thing. Fur brushes against her skin with every movement, a million tiny touches that don't stop. The dull, heavy pinch of teeth in her shoulder feels like yours. The way her claws finally, finally make it down past the thick fur of Mukuro's back to drag down and leave marks in response feels like mine, fervent and harsh and gleeful in her greed. Their rhythm is good, now; they move together, and now that she knows, really gets it, she searches out that slow grind at the height of every stroke, letting out a soft, thin, overcome sound as her claws dig in fiercely, lingering in that perfect moment where Mukuro is everywhere-everywhere-everywhere and she wants more-more-more even though this is everything, Mukuro is everything to her.]

[dead_eyed_wolf]

[The whisper doesn't go unacknowledged. All she can do is groan, low and rough and needy through her teeth, but it's enough just to let Lila know she hears her. She hears, she obeys. 'I want everything, but can you just touch me?' She remembers. Mukuro's here for Lila, and she's lucky, she's so, so lucky, that Lila wants her to feel good, too - and Mukuro wouldn't dream of not giving Lila the satisfaction of knowing she does. So good. So, so good - fuck - her grip on Lila's hand tightens enough to press the tips of her claws into her shadow-skin.

And that's all before Lila's claws gouge into her, through her fur - it's a much sharper, more plaintive sound, this time; her shudder's enough to throw off her rhythm for a moment before she can readjust. Mouth open and panting like this, it's all she can do not to drool - even that might be all right, Lila's been so good to her, accepted all her ugly parts and her more bestial physical traits, but even so, she deserves better. Better, better, the best possible, always - and more. As much as she can give and more.

By this point, she's not speaking. Better to use her mouth to bite and mark and pin, hold Lila down and keep her where she belongs - god, it'd be an arrogant, unforgivable thought if she didn't know for sure how badly Lila wanted to be here. Right now, her mind's too full of yes good more, of pretty little whines and breathless curses, of the feel of this girl under and around her and the knowledge that this is exactly where both of them should be. And how badly, how desperately she wants to be good for her. She's trying. She's hazy and shaky and feels almost half-feral, but she's trying. Because she won't, she won't, she won't disappoint her - but god, it's so much.

She adjusts her stance, just slightly, to get the best leverage possible. Shifts her hand a little lower, more towards Lila's back, to help her lift her hips. Anything she can do to make it good, better, best for her like she deserves. Anything to give her what she wants, what she needs, anything anything anything-- ]

[gitanes]

[Mukuro's so stoic, most of the time. Lila wanted closeness out of this, wanted to feel Mukuro from the inside out, but beyond that she wanted to hear Mukuro lose it a little, god, she wanted that so bad. It's so fucking rewarding to drag sounds out of her, to pull claws down her back and hear her cry out. She wants Mukuro to feel the same way she does, locked in but in the best way, as pinned and belonging and wanted as she does with Mukuro's claws in her thighs, teeth on her throat, breath heavy and humid on the skin of her neck, like she's holding herself back from one last beautiful animal instinct.]

[She's perfect. Lila's losing it. Unraveling in bits and pieces, she whimpers at the lift of her hips, mouth open and panting again, heartbeat so fast in the slim space between them. Her body is all wanting and climbing and begging, begging, begging, tense and working hard, so hard, for both of them.]

[She wants to work hard for Mukuro. She wants to find every single way to drive her crazy, no matter how long it takes. She wants to learn her favorite speed and what angle feels best and how she tastes, god, she wants fingers and skin and yes everything prickling hungry under her mouth. She wants everything. She's greedy.]

[But now, right now, she's feeling — smug. A little. Delirious and so, so good and smug, shuddering with teeth bared in a lopsided grin, because Mukuro is working so hard for her, pushing herself, and it's—]

[Cute. It's so cute.]

[She doesn't even have to think about it. This time the shadows don't even bother materializing before curling out from her aura, wrapping light around Mukuro's thighs in greeting before sliding curiously up. Curling around the base of her, soft and barely-but-most-definitely there, moving with the rhythm for just a few strokes before dipping, trailing underneath and cupping before moving on, a slightly heavier touch like two fingers pressing teasingly against the soft expanse of vulnerable skin, something she hopes translates but even if it doesn't, there's no way it doesn't feel a little good.]

. . . Really holding back for me, huh?

[Her tone is breathless, heady, teasing and sweet. Even as her claws dig gently into the grooves already scratched, she meets Mukuro move for move, the both of them so in sync their heartbeats are moving with them.]

Really trying — to be chivalrous, mm — how's it going? [Lazy, all teeth, so relaxed, so happy, mine yes yes yes—] You waiting for p—mm!—ermission?

[dead_eyed_wolf]

[Oh - oh, those tendrils, fuck fuck fuck - a high, thin noise wavers out of her, as her eyes squeeze shut and her grip tightens. Holy shit. One of her first coherent thoughts is that's not fair - she'd paused, for a moment, too overwhelmed to move, and she starts up again with another low little groan.

Lila's - teasing her. Playing. There's an embarrassed flush under her fur and a coil of heat in her belly, shame and pleasure swirling together, but - the corners of her mouth twitch up, a little; her open, panting mouth a jagged-toothed grin for the briefest of moments. Because it's not dangerous. Lila's not dangerous. Not to her, not like this. Lila's teasing is gentle, to engage her, not to trip her up or hurt her. She's not scared at all, and the novelty of that makes her heart flutter against her chest. Maybe Lila can feel that, too.]

Trying, [she rasps, picking her head up just slightly to speak without Lila's shoulder in her mouth.] for you.

[She turns her head, swipes her tongue over Lila's cheek in a wet, silly, wolfish little kiss.]

Don't wanna - hhhaa-- h-hhhave to - s-stop too soon.

[Talking is hard, but if she'll do anything for Lila, it's hardly the most daunting task. The thought of permission draws another low noise out of her, and she ducks her head in a little nod, but forces herself to take another shallow gulp of air and speak, even in a mumble.]

Nnnhh-- not - I don't n-need you - in charge. I just - want-- fuck-- I want to - mmmn-make you h-happy.

[gitanes]

[The kiss makes her laugh, makes her actually giggle, her voice high and breathless with joy and wanting. In the moment before Mukuro starts moving again, she can feel the bang of the wolf's heart against her ribcage and the pulse of her own around Mukuro and in her ears, beating so hard she feels her bones rattling with it. And when she does start up again, it stutters. Everything stutters. She moans, head thrown back, loud and unashamed.]

I wanna make you happy — fuck, I want—

[She bites the tip of her tongue between her teeth, trying to pull words out when it's so hard to focus. That's the thing, that's the . . . weird thing, isn't it, she . . . wants, of course she does, for herself, but for the first time she can feel her whole body and soul crying out for Mukuro's pleasure as well as her own. That's new. It's new and overwhelming and makes her feel drunk, a little, but less desperate, too, and that's good. That's so good. She could ride this for — for a while, if she wanted to, just thinking about how good it feels to make Mukuro feel good. How she can do that just by being. Just by letting Mukuro fuck her.]

[That makes her feel powerful. But not alone.]

[At the noise Mukuro makes, she leans up and kitten-licks the corner of her mouth, sweet and teasing, at the same time one of those shadows comes to coil around the base of her, loose but full of promise.]

You're so good to me. I can help. You know? Don't have to, but . . . if you wanna hang on a little longer.

[Trying. For you.]

[She thinks . . . she can make it easier. And maybe a little sweeter, too.]

[dead_eyed_wolf]

You do, [she murmurs, but she's cut off before she can say much more as those clever shadow tendrils coil around her again. The noise she makes - a strangled little gasp, followed by a shuddery exhale that fades into a whiny growl - is more than she could ever manage with words right now. Eager and accepting, but a warning, too; that it's all borrowed time and the wolf is very hungry. It's good, it'll work - at least, she's pretty sure - but god, fuck, even the suggestion is enough to make the wolf instincts thrill and surge. She licks her muzzle, swallows absently, pants through jagged teeth as she tries to explain.]

Lila, [she rasps, breathless,] I - s'good, but - [god it's so hard to speak like a person--] hhhharder to n-not - be rough.

[She doesn't want to hurt her. She doesn't want to hurt her, she won't hurt her, not ever, ever, ever - but she knows her limits, how powerful the feral instincts can get, how awake and focused the wolf feels in her own haze. And she remembers Lila teasing, playing, wanting her to play rough back. She never wants to take it too far, and being permitted so much already - it's not what she's used to, she doesn't want to overstep.]

[gitanes]

You will not hurt me.

[Shadows curling snug and secure, she can feel the hazy sensation of it, like fingers of some distant hand. The warmth she would feel from holding onto Mukuro herself is in there somewhere, yet another layer of delicious sensation that she’s slowly being smothered under. Her voice, husky and commanding, rumbles in Mukuro’s ear.]

You don’t have to worry, because you won’t hurt me. I know you won’t. So just—

[Her chest rises as her breath hitches, eyelids flutter, as she clutches tight around Mukuro in anticipation, reveling in this one last push with every single complex intimate touch.]

Just be rough. I want — you, and the, the wolf too, Muku— [Her claws scrabble hungrily at Mukuro’s mid-back, hips pistoning desperately.] I wanna feel it, I want you to fuck me so I can feel it when my body’s gone.