[the same. mukuro would never dare to compare them, not really; Lila seems so much stronger and smarter than she could ever be. but on some level, she understands. they've both been a little less than human for a long time. different circumstances, different approaches, different outcomes, but - they both don't quite know what they're doing. just trying their best, and fervently guarding anything and anyone they manage to secure for themselves.
there's another little inhale when Lila takes her by the wrist, but she doesn't resist at all. why would she? being brought closer, being permitted to sit alongside her rather than beneath - there's no reason for her to be anything but completely pliant in the shade's spectral grasp. and when Lila tucks herself against her, the relief that floods her system is so strong that for a moment she feels faint. she isn't sure what to do, at first, but Lila's next words draw all her attention. like everything else dims, mutes, so she can better focus on what's important.
she makes Lila happy. she makes Lila happy.
it feels unbelievable, and yet she knows it's true. it has to be, because Lila is saying it to her, and it's impossible for mukuro to trust anyone else's words more. there are many people here she's grown to care for, more than she ever thought possible, so many it feels overwhelming sometimes - but Lila, Lila, she's the only one who's never once been hard to understand. she's never said something she didn't mean, she's never tried to spare anyone's feelings by hiding the truth, she's never made mukuro try to guess how she's feeling or what she needs. mukuro has always been able to trust everything Lila's ever said to her. she's proven it over and over and over. just because mukuro is so used to being useless - her own failings aren't an excuse to doubt her now. and it feels almost sacrilegious, to touch her without being invited, but it isn't fair for Lila to be the only one trying to bridge the gap.
so. she turns her head, tucking her snout down to nose at her. her tail curls around the both of them. and she reaches, finally, for Lila's available hand, to lace their fingers together again. careful, and hesitant, but trying.]
...You make me happy, too. You've always been - nice to me, Lila. I'm n-not - I've never been - scared of you.
[her voice is very quiet. almost a whisper. it's a hard thing to admit. she's resigned to handle whatever comes her way. she's willing to endure the worst kinds of pain for the sake of others. she's willing to die, if she has to, even moreso now that she knows she'll come back. all her life she's had to be strong, brave, emotionless. but the fear is always there, even if it's buried deep, deep down.]
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there's another little inhale when Lila takes her by the wrist, but she doesn't resist at all. why would she? being brought closer, being permitted to sit alongside her rather than beneath - there's no reason for her to be anything but completely pliant in the shade's spectral grasp. and when Lila tucks herself against her, the relief that floods her system is so strong that for a moment she feels faint. she isn't sure what to do, at first, but Lila's next words draw all her attention. like everything else dims, mutes, so she can better focus on what's important.
she makes Lila happy.
she makes Lila happy.
it feels unbelievable, and yet she knows it's true. it has to be, because Lila is saying it to her, and it's impossible for mukuro to trust anyone else's words more. there are many people here she's grown to care for, more than she ever thought possible, so many it feels overwhelming sometimes - but Lila, Lila, she's the only one who's never once been hard to understand. she's never said something she didn't mean, she's never tried to spare anyone's feelings by hiding the truth, she's never made mukuro try to guess how she's feeling or what she needs. mukuro has always been able to trust everything Lila's ever said to her. she's proven it over and over and over. just because mukuro is so used to being useless - her own failings aren't an excuse to doubt her now. and it feels almost sacrilegious, to touch her without being invited, but it isn't fair for Lila to be the only one trying to bridge the gap.
so. she turns her head, tucking her snout down to nose at her. her tail curls around the both of them. and she reaches, finally, for Lila's available hand, to lace their fingers together again. careful, and hesitant, but trying.]
...You make me happy, too.
You've always been - nice to me, Lila.
I'm n-not - I've never been - scared of you.
[her voice is very quiet. almost a whisper. it's a hard thing to admit.
she's resigned to handle whatever comes her way. she's willing to endure the worst kinds of pain for the sake of others. she's willing to die, if she has to, even moreso now that she knows she'll come back. all her life she's had to be strong, brave, emotionless. but the fear is always there, even if it's buried deep, deep down.]