[Lila is still upset. Lila is like her, and being this angry makes her want to lash out. mukuro can see it, all of it, and still she stays passive and unresisting, ready to take whatever Lila thinks she deserves. whatever it takes to be forgiven.
and yet. Lila still lets her go. offers to let her leave, but doesn't want her to. "you're mine."
mukuro has never wanted nor needed to be protected by someone else. it's not a possibility in her mind. Lila's anger is righteous, even if the reason is not. And mukuro has always, always, always belonged to someone else. it's familiar, it's comfortable. and - someone who will be honest with her, rather than make her guess and punish her for being incorrect - someone who will simply tell her to follow, to act, rather than drag her around on strings - yes, of course she wants to stay. how could she not?
just a stray dog, just an obedient bitch, but she can hardly hear it anymore with Lila commanding all of her attention. she nods, staring up at her with wide wondering eyes, too humble to reach for her but sitting up in her best posture, i can be a good dog--]
Y-- yes. Yes. I want to stay.
[her voice is rasping; from emotion, from tears, from the comfortable constriction of a phantom collar around her throat--]
That's - th-that's what I chose. I want to stay. I n-never - I just didn't want to - burden anyone else.
[she stares up at the shade with wide eyes, expression desperate and open. she didn't lie, she wouldn't lie to Lila, not to her, not ever. not even about this. she wouldn't talk about it by herself, it's too raw, too close to her heart, but--]
cw: mukuro responding very positively to unhealthy relationship dynamics, because, gestures
and yet. Lila still lets her go. offers to let her leave, but doesn't want her to. "you're mine."
mukuro has never wanted nor needed to be protected by someone else. it's not a possibility in her mind. Lila's anger is righteous, even if the reason is not. And mukuro has always, always, always belonged to someone else. it's familiar, it's comfortable. and - someone who will be honest with her, rather than make her guess and punish her for being incorrect - someone who will simply tell her to follow, to act, rather than drag her around on strings - yes, of course she wants to stay. how could she not?
just a stray dog, just an obedient bitch, but she can hardly hear it anymore with Lila commanding all of her attention. she nods, staring up at her with wide wondering eyes, too humble to reach for her but sitting up in her best posture, i can be a good dog--]
Y-- yes. Yes. I want to stay.
[her voice is rasping; from emotion, from tears, from the comfortable constriction of a phantom collar around her throat--]
That's - th-that's what I chose. I want to stay. I n-never - I just didn't want to - burden anyone else.
[she stares up at the shade with wide eyes, expression desperate and open. she didn't lie, she wouldn't lie to Lila, not to her, not ever. not even about this. she wouldn't talk about it by herself, it's too raw, too close to her heart, but--]