[she jumps, flinches, at every explosion, glass unable to handle the pressure and breaking into jagged, dangerous shards - just like us, mukuro-nee, we've always been broken, we can't be fixed and we'll hurt anyone who tries - she's trembling, too, like a stupid little purse dog, who's afraid of the big bad wolf? with the sound of familiar laughter in her head, and it doesn't matter that they're both long dead when the memory of her is so strong. she doesn't need the real thing when she has the echo of her, like always, like they'd traded pieces of themselves so they'd never be apart.
Lila's claws curl into the fabric of her shirt and pulls, and she can't help a shallow little gasp, wide glassy eyes lifting to focus on her face. expecting pain, expecting punishment, but entirely willing to accept it. because even if Lila's never hurt her before - that's her role. that's always been her role. mukuro is not her own person, she never has been, it's been stupid of her to pretend otherwise - she's just a disappointing copy, a hollow puppet, who exists only for what she can do for others. so she moves for her, obedient and unresisting.
but that's not what happens.
Lila tells her that's not what will ever happen. that she'll stop it, fight to protect her, and it's not like before, no one else, only me, it's righteous fury that anyone would hurt her. she swallows, staring, and nods. something in her coils comfortably. (hers, hers, hers)]
I hear you.
[her voice is soft, shaking, but completely sure. Lila is always, always honest with her. Lila would never say something she didn't mean. Lila's voice is real, and all her jagged edges are pointed outward. she swallows again and speaks, trying to explain, somehow, knowing that it won't come out right but she's trying--]
I had - a piece of her - I s-sacrificed it. To the vortex, it meant everything, I wanted to - s-stay here. To - move on. K-Komaeda said we h-have to try - to be better. To - I'm trying. I'm trying, I swear, I'm trying to be better, Lila, please, [she's still trembling, blinking tears out of her eyes, ] please don't make me leave.
cw: skewed sense of self worth???
Lila's claws curl into the fabric of her shirt and pulls, and she can't help a shallow little gasp, wide glassy eyes lifting to focus on her face. expecting pain, expecting punishment, but entirely willing to accept it. because even if Lila's never hurt her before - that's her role. that's always been her role. mukuro is not her own person, she never has been, it's been stupid of her to pretend otherwise - she's just a disappointing copy, a hollow puppet, who exists only for what she can do for others. so she moves for her, obedient and unresisting.
but that's not what happens.
Lila tells her that's not what will ever happen. that she'll stop it, fight to protect her, and it's not like before, no one else, only me, it's righteous fury that anyone would hurt her.
she swallows, staring, and nods. something in her coils comfortably.
(hers, hers, hers)]
I hear you.
[her voice is soft, shaking, but completely sure. Lila is always, always honest with her. Lila would never say something she didn't mean. Lila's voice is real, and all her jagged edges are pointed outward.
she swallows again and speaks, trying to explain, somehow, knowing that it won't come out right but she's trying--]
I had - a piece of her - I s-sacrificed it. To the vortex, it meant everything, I wanted to - s-stay here. To - move on. K-Komaeda said we h-have to try - to be better. To - I'm trying. I'm trying, I swear, I'm trying to be better, Lila, please, [she's still trembling, blinking tears out of her eyes, ] please don't make me leave.